magic's new name

I have decided that I will give myself a new name for Christmas - inspired by my current surroundings. Most names have alternatives in different languages, but Irish (Gaeilige) is somewhat different. When the British insisted on anglicizing every name in Ireland (read Brian Friel's play "Translations" for an account of the time), they came up with alternatives. The rough equivalent of Timothy in the Irish language is Tadhg. This name is pronounced like "tiger" without the "r" and not like "Craig" as is the misconception and it means "poet".

Of course it would be remiss of me not to translate "Magic" too. The word "draíocht" is the word for "magic", but it also means, ironically, "glamour" and "romance"

Timmy "Tadhg Draíocht" Magic

nollaig chridheil agus bliadhna mhath ùr!

Happy Christmas from Timmy Magic!

I am currently in Ireland with my parents enjoying a bit of festive rest, hence the slight lack of bloggage in recent days.

Thanks to everyone who sent me a card and/or gift and to those who didn't get a card from me, fret not, for I didn't send any. I did, however, make a donation to a charitable cause.

Timmy "Ho Ho Ho" Magic

i'm loving angles instead?

BBC News reports that around 17 million people in the UK don't have the sufficient reading skills to sing the Robbie Williams' song, "Angels". It is suggested that it requires 5 GCSEs or equivalent to manage the whole song at the right speed. They would also struggle to follow the lyrics of Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive", the Commitments' "Mustang Sally" and "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen.

In other news, around 50% of prison inmates fail to reach the level of literacy expected of an 11 year old.

So that is why prison karaoke nights aren't successful...

Timmy "Singalong at Strangeways" Magic

i am a real goer

I have just returned from my fifth cinema visit this week. My previous post outlines the first three trips but I went twice today. I saw the Korean movie The Host or Goemul which is vaguely based on something that happened with some formaldehyde that was improperly disposed of. It is a reasonable film, and I sense it could be a continuation of the breakthrough into Hollywood of Korean films. We have already seen the impact Chinese and Japanese film has had on the world cinema scene, with Park Chan-Wook's Oldboy leading the way from the Korean market.

This evening's viewing was "Stranger Than Fiction", the latest offering from Marc Forster and starring Will Ferrell. The storyline is a little darker than one would expect from a Hollywood film but is nonetheless funny in places. Maggie Gyllenhaal puts in a really good performance as Ferrell's love interest and Emma Thompson carries on the "weird woman" vibe that has been a feature of her past few films (Nanny McPhee, Harry Potter, Love Actually).

Having seen most of the latest releases over the past few days, I will probably take a break from the cinema for a few days, though I am off to the Royal Albert Hall tomorrow so maybe I will post on that!

Timmy "Korean and Komedy" Magic

abba museum to open in stockholm

BBC News reports, much to the excitement of Richard Wright and I, that there will be an ABBA museum opening in Stockholm in 2008.

If that's not a good excuse for a return visit, I don't know what is

Timmy "Thank You For The Music" Magic

casinos, catwalks and craziness

Today I visited the cinema for the 3rd time this week so thought I would update you with brief reviews.

On Sunday night, Cinema Club convened at Wandsworth to see "Casino Royale", the new James Bond film. Although it is suggested that it hasn't got all the things that a Bond film should have (explosions, gadgets and multitudinous women) it is the truest to the Ian Fleming original book and is definitely worth seeing.

Yesterday I saw "The Devil Wears Prada". It is a chick flick and it doesn't appear to have much of a storyline, but fills a bit of spare time. A good performance by Anne Hathaway as she makes a name for herself in Hollywood.

This afternoon I saw "Jackass Number Two". It is gross but hilarious.
Guys - go alone or with other chaps.
Girls - avoid it, you won't like it!

Timmy "Movie-tastic" Magic

salvos in a spin

BBC News reports that international super-weirdo David Blaine is embarking on his latest endurance feat. He is currently in a large gyroscope near Times Square in New York, and will escape from shackles within the gyroscope after 3 days.

Upon completion of the task Blaine will take 100 under privileged children chosen by the Salvation Army on a shopping spree in New York. Blaine stated that the Salvation Army was close to his heart since they provided him with clothing as a child.

Let's just hope that the Army capitalizes on this publicity, whether adverse or not, around the fast approaching festive season

Timmy "I'm spinning around" Magic

thallium et al

Anyone who has seen the news in the past few days will have noticed there is a former Russian spy, Alexander Litvinenko, who has been hospitalized with suspected thallium poisoning. This mention of thallium led me to think about Tom Lehrer, an American mathematician, satirist and entertainer, who is the only person I know of who has managed to fit the word "thallium" into a song.

It's certainly well done as is much of his other material

Timmy "Elementary" Magic

northern ireland - different country or same country?

There has been some friendly banter in recent days as to whether Northern Ireland is a different country or not?

Wikipedia thinks it =is but the CIA says it isn't!

Answers via the comment section please

Timmy "Is it or isn't it? Magic

bandwagon leaping

I don't like jumping on bandwagons very much so I won't! But what I will do is point you towards Lloyd Kinsley's blog. He does blog frequently and his posts are always funny or insightful - or both.

Well worth reading is his "Thursday Thought" where he asks for answers to interesting questions!

Timmy "Lard loving" Magic

travels of the magic

In recent weeks I have been traveling around the UK doing various things!

As has previously been mentioned, I was in Wales for an interview with South Wales Police. I didn't get it so am staying in London to hopefully join the Met.

I also visited another Celtic nation when I went to see my parents. I might post some photos later on if I can get motivated!

This weekend I visited Market Harborough in Leicestershire (I think!) with the Rink Band. It was a good laugh and we had some jolly banter. My kit playing was on top form - if you get the chance to hear it you should.

As an aside, I can thoroughly recommend the latest series of Family Guy - it's quite funny.

Lastly I need to congratulate John on raising heaps of cash for the Army and apologise for not giving him any money...

Timmy "Destined for the Met?" Magic

inspector whitmore

Further to my previous post, a very perceptive chum of mine pointed out that Jonny had not only joined the police, but also risen up the ranks with alarming pace, having completed his 2 year probation, passed his Sergeant's exams, served as a sergeant and passed his Inspector's exams all within a year!

Maybe he is Super Jonny after all...


Timmy "UnSuper Tim" Magic

expressions and ex-uni colleague

I forgot to mention that it is, in fact, Expressions on Thursday night at the Rink. The Band and Songsters are taking part as well as a Trombone ensemble and vocal soloists. Come along for a fun time.

Also, a friend of mine from Army/uni just had a severe haircut for charity purposes. Check out John Mitchinson's blog link on the left for details on how to give him money and pictures of the deed itself!

Timmy "THE Chief Musician" Magic

prisons, poverty and police

Greetings blog fans!

First of all has to be my sincerest apologies for a distinct lack of blogging in the past few weeks. There has been heaps of stuff going on, details of some of those will be detailed shortly.

BBC News reports today that the government's scheme of floating prisons is back on the agenda. No doubt some of my police colleagues will suggest that the only improvement would be to put holes in the sides.

As a follow up to the 'Make Poverty History' campaign, which became somethibng of a damp squib following the Olympic 2012 decision and last year's bombings, Bono has launched an initiative called (RED). This is being supported by some big multinational corporations including Motorola, Apple and Gap. There is a blog here on Blogger about it, as well as an official website.

Earlier in the week I was in Cardiff for an interview with South Wales Police, or Heddlu De Cymru as the, er, Welsh would say. It went well and I am fairly confident that I sold myself sufficiently to get the job. I will keep you posted!

Timmy "Ti(RED)" Magic

officer whitmore

jonny
Originally uploaded by tim luke jones.

Now we all thought that Jonny was off in Wales doing Jesus stuff, but this photo proves otherwise!

He was being a model-cum-policeman!

Timmy "Model/drummer" Magic

a new low

I feel that my good friend Mike Owen (linked left) has hit a new low. He is being openly mocked by his own father!
His dad has a blog about his life in Denmark - have a look

Timmy "GTO - legend" Magic

one of my questions

As those of you who speak to me regularly will know, I often ask random questions that I don't know the answer to. One of these has, for quite a while, been whether it is possible to buy plasters for people who have a skin colour different to that funny pink shade. Can you buy plasters for people who look Asian or African or Native American?

It turns out the answer is yes! Ebon-aide sell them! Now to find the next big question in life.

Timmy "Rasta-plast" Magic

songs that don't work in the nato alphabet part 2

Further to my earlier post, my dear friend Kate suggested that great Church/football song:-

I Am Hotel Alpha Papa Papa Yankee

Timmy "Lima Oscar Sierra Echo Romeo" Magic

halfway to an audio-visual treat

Through the wonders of modern day internet technology I came across a fantabulous (new word - you like it?) website named Listen to a Movie. It does - as Ronseal would say - exactly what it says on the tin. You can listen to a movie, albeit in low quality, whilst sat at your computer.

It's something to do if you have far too much time on your hands, like I do

Timmy "From Ear to Eternity" Magic

jose and his amazing technicolour dreamcoat

Thanks to my dear friend Mr Dave Cotterill, I present a video of the Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho singing about his coat. It was made about a year ago and the only change needed to bring it up to date is turning "We can't stop winning" into "We can't start winning!"

Jose and His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat

Timmy "Top of the league" Magic

starbucks sued!

A lady in America is suing Starbucks for $114 million because they wouldn't give her a free coffee, BBC News reports. She claims that they withdrew an offer of free cups of coffee that was emailed to Starbuck employees to share with family and friends, with the sum representing the cost of drinks that would have been given away. What is the world coming to when they sue over coffee?

Timmy "Crappy-cino" Magic

veni, vedi, wiki - or i came, i saw, i blogged

Seasoned visitors to my blog (ie those who have read some of the previous 150 posts) will have noticed that I refer a lot to Wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia that is edited by everyone who wants to. It is generally a good source of information and, owing to the fact is is user edited, has an article on pretty much everything. If there isn't an article on it, you can create it!

This article from Wired News, an American tech magazine, tells of a journalist who wrote an article about "wikis" (user editable posts and articles) and then made it wiki-able! The results are certainly worth reading, especially in relation to the fast moving internet times!

Veni, Vedi, Wiki

Timmy "Wiki Woo!" Magic

songs that don't work in the nato alphabet

I was on the bus on the way to Songsters yesterday when I began to think of songs that wouldn't work in the NATO alphabet. These were the ones I came up with:

Alpha Bravo Charlie 1 2 3 by Jackson 5
Delta India Sierra Charlie Oscar by November-Trance
I Am A Charlie Hotel Romeo India Sierra Tango India Alpha November by your local Sunday School!

Timmy "Mike Alpha Golf India Charlie" Magic

jazz trumpet legend dies

Maynard Ferguson, jazz trumpet player and band leader has died. He was at home with his 4 daughters when he succumbed to liver and kidney failure last night.

I was fortunate enough to see him play live with his band at Ronnie Scott's last summer and it was a fantastic evening. We all acknowledged that it could be his last trip to London, just as we had done the year before. If you never had the chance to hear his music live, get down to the shops tomorrow and buy "This Is Jazz". If you did, you will know how missed he will be by the industry and fans alike

Timmy "Missing Maynard" Magic

grumpy old woman

jenny_eclair
Originally uploaded by tim luke jones.

Pictured here is Jenny Eclair, the comedienne and star of hit BBC show "Grumpy Old Women"

Now every time I see her on TV she is quite funny and doesn't seem like she is a grumpy old woman. However it turns out she is quite grumpy, especially when her foot gets run over by a shopping trolley, as occured this evening in Sainsbury's in East Dulwich. She was less than impressed at my driving skills even though I was most apologetic and walked off grumbing to her husband/boyfriend/live-in lover!

Timmy "Understands why he doesn't have a driving license" Magic

the now-exhausted dvd collection

Photo047
Originally uploaded by tim luke jones.

Here is my DVD storage shelf - full of films I have seen at least once...

Timmy "Spirited Away" Magic

magic hobbies

Mr T Magic has a problem! He needs a hobby as he has way too much time off.

Since I moved into Denmark Hill a few weeks ago I have got nicely settled in and all unpacked but now have time to do stuff. The problem is, the past few weeks I have wasted my time off in front of the TV, computer and DVD player.

I want a hobby, but I don't know what to do! I have contemplated finding somewhere nice to go fishing, photography, golf and canoeing but am welcome to suggestions.

If anyone has any ideas feel free to send them to me as I have run out of DVDs to watch

Timmy "All the Time in the World" Magic

the emerald isle

As I write this post, I can see Stormont Castle, home of the Northern Irish Parliament, government to the home of Matt, Simon, Tim, Natalie, Heather et al. I am sitting at my parent's computer in their new house in Belfast. I am also doing something I never thought I would do again - I am using dial-up internet!

So what's new? I am still a bit tired after the long day at Wembley for commissioning, though it was a nice day. Sunday was a regular Army day, apart from the fact it was George Sharman's dedication and Simon and Beth were there. Also I was the colour sergeant (flag man) for the dedication. Be warned that wearing contact lenses and a hot day don't go well together as the sweat gets in your eyes and makes them hurt.

Monday was the British International Motor Show which was not as good as I had hoped, as there were a great many manufacturers who were not there. Having said this, I fell deeper in love with the Honda Jazz. All I need to do now is learn how to drive!

Tuesday was a fun filled day as I flew to the Emerald Isle to catch up with my parents. I flew in a bit late but had a really quick through the airports at both ends which was nice. I have seen a bit of the culture so far (Samson and Goliath, the Harland and Wolff cranes) and had an Ulster fry, possibly the most fatty thing I have ever had. From what I could gather, it was invented by someone who had a mix of ingredients left in the fridge and decided to fry them up and call it a traditional meal!

Tomorrow we are off to Dublin, so I will fill you in on that later on!

So for now, beir bua agus beannacht!

Timmy "Top o' the morning" Magic

commissioning day

I write this from my room at the William Booth College in Denmark Hill, which I moved into last Tuesday. I was woken about 45 mins ago by the strains of the 1st year band, in full uniform, playing "Sing Hosanna!" which wouldn't be my chosen method of waking up, but allegedly it is a tradition!

I have finally got moved in and my parentos are off to sunny Ireland today, and I will join them later in the week.

I have internet access back so my blog fans can rest assured I am back in action!

Timmy "Can see the lift from Poirot" Magic

jumping on the lifehacker band wagon

Sadly I have to jump on a band wagon! The Lifehacker website has been mentioned on a few blogs I read so I thought I would share the wealth.

CNet says "Often tech-related, Lifehacker is full of tips to make life easier--from building your own solar-powered generator to quitting a nail-biting habit"

Gadgetopia says "Computers make us more productive. Yeah, right. Lifehacker recommends the downloads, web sites and shortcuts that actually save time. Don’t live to geek, geek to live!"

So it has general tips for life, intermingled with techie tips!

Particularly of note was the best Windows tip - "Buy a Mac! Or install Linux!"

Timmy "Hasn't bought a Mac, has installed Linux" Magic

stupid? for sure! but he would do it again!

In a previous post of mine, I paid homage to Mr Glyn Goodfella Harries who had stuck twelve (12) bulldog clips to his face. Detailed on his blog is the photographic evidence of this feat! Well done Mr Glyn!

Timmy "No pegs" Magic

bobby magic

Image(262)
Originally uploaded by tim luke jones.

A picture of me in a beat helmet, stolen from my sregeant at a garden party this evening. As an aside, standard police equipment is very good for keeping kids entertained...

Timmy "rozzer" Magic

robomadge

Image(257)
Originally uploaded by tim luke jones.

Here is a picture of me I took while wearing my new cycling glasses. They go really well with my contact lenses and my work uniform and according to some people make me look like Robocop

Timmy "Very Specs-y" Magic

the sinner/winner question

I have read this post on Nick Hanover's blog about 8 times and still don't know how I feel about it! As a Christian, I suppose I should be happy that people are willing to spread the word of God (albeit in a uniquely different way) but as someone who is responsible for upholding the law, it is tough to hear someone telling people they will "be condemned to an eternal ASBO in hell". I do find his methods quite aggressive at times, but then wonder if a band slowing down the traffic (even more) on Oxford Street while playing loud music is any less aggressive to the regular man in the street?

Phil Howard tells people to give up vanity and take up Christianity, while the officer tells people that there is more to life than shopping. So what makes the different ways of wording the same message anti-social?

While out on the beat a few weeks ago, there was a protest outside the London embassy of an Arabic speaking country by citizens of another Arabophile nation about a political matter. A member of public came up to me and complained that the protesters should be arrested for inciting racial and religious hatred. I asked them why and they said the protesters were dressed as Arabs and were speaking "muslamic". When I told they were dressed like Arabs because they were, and that they were speaking the Muslim language because they were Muslims, they stormed off muttering to themselves.

This begs the question of whether our open air ministry could be misconstrued. Are we inciting religious hatred as these Muslims were in the eyes of the person passing by? Where does the line between anti-social behaviour and religious hatred lie? When do we stop advertising our church and start trying to force God on people? Don't get me wrong, open air ministry has its place, but in this multi-racial, multi-faith and multi-cultural world, we should act with caution.

Please feel free to comment on this, or even to email me - this is something I have been thinking about for a while and would like to know what other people think!

Timmy "Winning sinner" Magic

tim's new cutlery

Image(256)
Originally uploaded by tim luke jones.

I ordered some new steak cutlery from Tchibo which arrived yesterday. I did however wonder why they had sent it in a huge box. The box was so large that It wouldn't fit throught the letter box and I had to go and get it from Edgware post office. I did check, and it would fit through the letter box. What a waste of a box and my effort!

By the way, I might need 7 people to come round and help me eat steak...

Timmy "knife new cutlery" Magic

i am a terrible father

I confess - I am a terrible father!
I forgot the 2nd birthday of my blog! That is bad. Very bad.

Here, therefore, is the official age of my blog as of now:

2 years old . . .
or 24 months old
or 104 weeks old
or 733 days old
or 17592 hours old
or 1055558 minutes old
or 63333513 seconds old

And my blog's next birthday is in 362 days 1 hrs 22 mins 27 secs (correct at time of publishing)

This does lead me on to remind you that I am the original blogger of the people on the left (I think) and that no-one else should attempt to steal my crown!

Timmy "Call the NSPCB (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Blogs)" Magic

i am an inspiration

It is true - it has been reported! I have been outed as an inspiration to someone! John Mitchinson, in his blog, said that I, and my blog, were part of the reason he had started blogging! Now isn't that exciting?

As a result he has made it onto my "friends who blog" list or, as it better known, my blogroll!

Timmy "Inspiration" Magic

things i did today

I did several things today, alot for a working day!

1) I went to my Safer Neighbourhoods training course at Shaftesbury Avenue.

2) I ate noodles in Chinatown.

3) I went to Wesley Owen where I saw Glyn Harries. He had big red marks on his face, which, it turns out, are the result of sticking 12 (yes, twelve) bulldog clips to his face. Ow!

4) I went to John Lewis to look at shoes and ended up on a £1000 rowing machine (it was made of wood and had water in it - very exciting!)

5) I recorded the Songster part of the soundtrack for the upcoming Regent Hall Band and Songsters DVD

6) I added Glyn to my 'Friends who blog' list

7) I blogged this...

8) I went to bed!*

Timmy "Active at work" Magic

* This hasn't happened yet, but will... soon...

some random phone photos i found

Here are some random photos from my phone camera, and ones that have been sent to my phone, including this one of Dave in his "I look like a modern day Jesus" phase



The largest Christmas card I have ever received



And a monochrome photo of my room



Timmy "Takes too many random photos" Magic

british football - norway style

Fa_premier_league_norway
Originally uploaded by tim luke jones.

This is British football as the Norwegians see it! The poster is an advert for the Norwegian coverage of Premiership football, and lists a number of teams as if their names were Norwegian. It made me smile but I have a weird sense of humour!

Timmy "Timøþi" Magic

things i have achieved this week

I have achieved a number of good things this week!

1) I installed the new release of Ubuntu on my old laptop. It's rather good, and rather better than the last release.

2) I managed to get my Wifi card to work on my laptop, so am able to do all kinds of fun internet related stuff. It's also rather good!

3) I installed a new switch box on the back of my Windows box so I can use the same monitor for both my Windows and Linux boxes.



4) I went to Amy's leaving party (boo hoo!) and took this nice picture of Megs and Bex



5) I added the "Friends who blog" links on the left hand side - and it only took 4 attempts to get it right.

6) I watched England beat Trinidad AND Tobago - a double well done for Sven and the boys.

Timmy "High Achiever" Magic

met police apologise for 'hurt'

Today the BBC News website reports on how sorry they are that they caused hurt to the two brothers arrested in the Forest Gate raids. I would like to point out how sorry AC Hayman looks, as displayed in the picture about halfway down the article.

Far be it for me to comment but if they were terrorists, the police would have been in trouble for shooting them, and if they weren't, the police would have been in trouble for shooting them.

Timmy "Trigger Unhappy" Magic

the unfair world cup

Whilst out and about the past few days, the team PC, Simon, and I decided that it was really fair that Holland should have to pay two countries at the same time, Serbia AND Montenegro when everyone else only has to face one country at a time. Thus we proposed that Serbia and Montenegro should play in their own separate competition with Trinidad and Tobago, St Kitts and Nevis, Antigua and Barbuda and Bosnia and Herzegovina. This would, of course, promote fairness and give them an equal chance of winning the "Two Countries Together World Cup"

Timmy "Timmy and Magic" Magic

hamster fighting - a new sport

fighting-hamster
Originally uploaded by tim luke jones.

Forget cock fighting, forget bull fighting - the new sensation in pitting animals against each other has arrived! Details are in the picture

Timmy "Hamster Jam" Magic

mike mccredie's stag

On Saturday morning, at the filthy hour of 8am I set off on my way to Mike's stag party at Mayhem Paintball in rural Essex. There were 11 of us there and we were teamed up against another stag party to compete throughout the day. Most people escaped relatively bruise free, apart from Mike O who took a decent shot to the chest, Dan who was hit on the adam's apple and the stag who by definition had to take a few shots. Also hit was the man who came towards me not caryying the flag. As a result of him not carrying a flag, I assumed he was the enemy and fired 4 or so shots into his chest. He was mildly unimpressed!

After the jolly time of paintballing, we went to Writtle for a curry (my second in 2 days.) The banter was good, though disappointingly Mike managed to escape any pranks as well as going back to AJ's to stay the night. He claimed that he didn't want to be late for the meeting. We did, however, suggest that if he were handcufffed to the Army and Navy roundabout he wouldn't be late, just cold and ashamed.

Timmy "No it's not ringworm, it's a paintball bruise" Magic

i'm alive

Sincerest apologies for not posting anything in a while - I thought I would do an Andy Kaufman and disappear for a while.

In my time away I have been busy policing the mean streets of Bayswater, catching crims and meeting people!

I do have a week off this week so have enough time to share some stories I have collated!

Timmy "Jimmy Hoffa/Amelia Earhart/Glenn Miller" Magic

hrólfs saga

Síðan fór Bǫðvarr leið sína til Hleiðargarðs. hann kømr til konungs atsetu. Bǫðvarr leiðir síðan hest sinn á stall hjá konungs hestum hinum beztu ok spyrr engan at; gekk síðan inn í hǫllina, ok var þar fátt manna. Hann sezk útarliga, ok sem hann hefir verit þar lítla hríð, heyrir hann þrausk nǫkkut útar í hornit í einhverjum stað. Bǫðvarr lítr þangat ok sér at mannshǫnd kømr upp ór mikilli beinahrúgu, er þar lá; hǫndin var svǫrt mjǫk. Bǫðvarr gengr þangat til ok spyrr hverr þar væri í beinahrúgunni. Þá var honum svarat ok heldr óframliga: "Hǫttr heiti ek, bokki sæll." "Hví ertu hér", segir Bǫðvarr, "eða hvat gørir þú?" Hǫttr segir, "Ek gøri mér skjaldborg, bokki sæll." Bǫðvarr sagði, "Vesall ertu þinnar skjaldborgar!" Bǫðvarr þrífir til hans ok hnykkir honum upp ór beinahrúgunni. Hǫttr kvað þá hátt við ok mælti, "Nú viltu mér bana! Gør eigi þetta, svá sem ek hefi nú vel um búizk áðr, en þú hefir nú rótat í sundr skjaldborg minni, ok hafða ek nú svá gǫrt hana háva útan at mér, at hon hefir hlíft mér við ǫllum hǫggum ykkar, svá at engi hǫgg hafa komit á mik lengi, en ekki var hon enn svá búin sem ek ætlaði hon skyldi verða." Bǫðvarr mælti: "Ekki muntu fá skjaldborgina lengr." Hǫttr mælti ok grét: "Skaltu nú bana mér, bokki sæll?" Bǫðvarr bað hann ekki hafa hátt, tók hann upp síðan ok bar hann út ór hǫllinni ok til vatns nǫkkurs sem þar var í nánd, ok gáfu fáir at þessu gaum, ok þó hann upp allan.
Síðan gekk Bǫðvarr til þess rúms sem hann hafði áðr tekit, ok leiddi eptir sér Hǫtt ok þar setr hann Hǫtt hjá sér. En hann er svá hræddr at skelfr á honum leggr ok liðr, en þó þykkisk hann skilja at þessi maðr vill hjálpa sér. Eptir þat kveldar ok drífa menn í hǫllina ok sjá Hrólfs kappar at Hǫttr er settr á bekk upp, ok þykkir þeim sá maðr hafa gǫrt sik œrit djarfan, er þetta hefir til tekit. Ilt tillit hefir Hǫttr, þá er hann sér kunningja sína, því at hann hefir ilt eitt at þeim reynt; hann vill lifa gjarnan ok fara aptr í beinahrúgu sína, en Bǫðvarr heldr honum, svá at hann náir ekki í brottu at fara, því at hann þóttisk ekki jafnberr fyrir hǫggum þeira, ef hann næði þangat at komask, sem hann er nú. Hirðmenn hafa nú sama vanda, ok kasta fyrst beinum smám um þvert gólfit til Bǫðvars ok Hattar. Bǫðvarr lætr sem hann sjái eigi þetta. Hǫttr er svá hræddr at hann tekr eigi mat né drykk, ok þykkir honum þá ok þá sem hann muni vera lostinn. Ok nú mælti Hǫttr til Bǫðvars: "Bokki sæll, nú ferr at þér stór knúta, ok mun þetta ætlat okkr til nauða." Bǫðvarr bað hann þegja. Hann setr við holan lófann ok tekr svá við knútunni; þar fylgir leggrinn með. Bǫðvarr sendi aptr knútuna ok setr á þann sem kastaði, ok rétt framan í hann með svá harðri svipan at hann fekk bana. Sló þá miklum ótta yfir hirðmennina.
Kømr nú þessi fregn fyrir Hrólf konung ok kappa hans upp í kastalann, at maðr mikilúðligr sé kominn til hallarinnar ok hafi drepit einn hirðmann hans, ok vildu þeir láta drepa manninn. Hrólfr konungr spurðisk eptir, hvárt hirðmaðrinn hefði verit saklauss drepinn. "Því var næsta", sǫgðu þeir. Kómusk þá fyrir Hrólf konung ǫll sannindi hér um. Hrólfr konungr sagði þat skyldu fjarri, at drepa skyldi manninn -- "hafi þit hér illan vanda upp tekit, at berja saklausa menn beinum; er mér í því óvirðing, en yðr stór skǫmm, at gøra slíkt. Hefi ek jafnan rœtt um þetta áðr, ok hafi þit at þessu engan gaum gefit, ok hygg ek at þessi maðr muni ekki alllítill fyrir sér, er þér hafið nú á leitat; ok kallið hann til mín, svá at ek viti hverr hann er."
Bǫðvarr gengr fyrir konung ok kveðr hann kurteisliga. Konungr spyrr hann at nafni. "Hattargriða kalla mik hirðmenn yðar, en Bǫðvarr heiti ek." Konungr mælti, "Hverjar bœtr viltu bjóða mér fyrir hirðmann minn?" Bǫðvarr segir, "Til þess gørði hann, sem hann fekk." Konungr mælti, "Viltu vera minn maðr ok skipa rúm hans?" Bǫðvarr segir, "Ekki neita ek at vera yðarr maðr, ok munu vit ekki skiljask svá búit, vit Hǫttr, ok dveljask nær þér báðir, heldr en þessi hefir setit; elligar vit fǫrum brott báðir." Konungr mælti, "Eigi sé ek at honum sœmd, en ek spara ekki mat við hann."
Bǫðvarr gengr nú til þess rúms sem honum líkaði, en ekki vill hann þat skipa sem hinn hafði áðr. Hann kippir upp í einhverjum stað þremr mǫnnum, ok síðan settusk þeir Hǫttr þar niðr ok innar í hǫllinni en þeim var skipat. Heldr þótti mǫnnum ódælt við Bǫðvar, ok er þeim hinn mesti íhugi at honum.
Ok sem leið at jólum, gørðusk menn ókátir. Bǫðvarr spyrr Hǫtt hverju þetta sætti; hann segir honum at dýr eitt hafi þar komit tvá vetr í samt, mikit ok ógurligt -- "ok hefir vængi á bakinu ok flýgr þat jafnan. Tvau haust hefir þat nú hingat vitjat ok gǫrt mikinn skaða. Á þat bíta ekki vápn, en kappar konungs koma ekki heim, þeir sem at eru einna mestir." Bǫðvarr mælti, "Ekki er hǫllin svá vel skipuð sem ek ætlaði, ef eitt dýr skal hér eyða ríki ok fé konungsins." Hǫttr sagði, "Þat er ekki dýr, heldr er þat hit mesta trǫll."
Nú kømr jóla-aptann. Þá mælti konungr, "Nú vil ek at menn sé kyrrir ok hljóðir í nótt, ok banna ek ǫllum mínum mǫnnum at ganga í nǫkkurn háska við dýrit, en fé ferr eptir því sem auðnar; menn mína vil ek ekki missa." Allir heita hér góðu um, at gøra eptir því sem konungr bauð.
Bǫðvarr leyndisk í brott um nóttina; hann lætr Hǫtt fara með sér, ok gørir hann þat nauðugr ok kallaði hann sér stýrt til bana. Bǫðvarr segir at betr mundi til takask. Þeir ganga í brott frá hǫllinni, ok verðr Bǫðvarr at bera hann, svá er hann hræddr. Nú sjá þeir dýrit, ok því næst œpir Hǫttr slíkt sem hann má ok kvað dýrit mundu gleypa hann. Bǫðvarr bað bikkjuna hans þegja ok kastar honum niðr í mosann, ok þar liggr hann ok eigi með ǫllu óhræddr. Eigi þorir hann heim at fara heldr. Nú gengr Bǫðvarr móti dýrinu; þat hœfir honum, at sverðit er fast í umgjǫrðinni, er hann vildi bregða því. Bǫðvarr eggjar nú fast sverðit ok þá bragðar í umgjǫrðinni, ok nú fær hann brugðit umgjǫrðinni svá at sverðit gengr ór slíðrunum, ok leggr þegar undir bœgi dýrsins ok svá fast at stóð í hjartanu, ok datt þá dýrit til jarðar dautt niðr. Eptir þat ferr hann þangat sem Hǫttr liggr. Bǫðvarr tekr upp ok berr þangat sem dýrit liggr dautt. Hǫttr skelfr ákaft. Bǫðvarr mælti: "Nú skaltu drekka blóð dýrsins."

blogging from my bed

Such are the advances in modern technology it is now possible to blog from my bed, as I am now doing!

Timmy "Sleepy" Magic

nunchucks are cool

If anyone was in any doubt as to how cool nunchucks are, check this video out...

Timmy "雙節棍" Magic

flightaware

Whilst browsing around the net earlier, I stumbled upon this site, FlightAware, which tracks flights that are currently moving within and across the US. It can plot arrivals and departures from any airport and you can see where flights are going. What is very interesting and well worth a look is the movie tracking all flights over a 24 hour period, located here.

Timmy "Flying high" Magic

pcso team photo

IMGP0129
Originally uploaded by tim luke jones.

Here is the group photo from our school pictures today! Don't we look all smart in our uniforms?

serbian signature

My signature in the previous post was taken from Wikiquote, a sister site to Wikipedia. The entry reads:-

Cyrillic: Где ти много обећавају, малу торбу понеси.
Latin: Gde ti mnogo obećavaju, malu torbu ponesi.

Translation: Where people are promising much to you, bring a small bag. (Similar to There is no free lunch.)

Timmy "Wiki'd" Magic

milosevic dies of heart failure

milosevic
Originally uploaded by tim luke jones.

Slobodan Milošević (Слободан Милошевић in Serbian), the former Serbian president who was in prison in The Netherlands awaiting trial for genocide, died on Saturday. The BBC News website, pictured left, states that he died of heart failure. I was just wondering what else one can die of apart from a failed heart?

Timmy "Где ти много обећавају, малу торбу понеси" Magic

the aussies hit a record score - and lose

This morning in the final ODI between Australia and South Africa, Australia scored 434 runs for the loss of 4 wickets, the highest ever score in a one day match. They also became the first team to score more than 400 runs in an international 50 over match.

After the mid session interval, the South African batsman came out to the pitch and hit 438 runs for the loss of 9 wickets - thus meaning that they beat the Australians and posted the new highest score in a one day international.

Read the BBC Sport report here

Timmy "Classic Australia" Magic

the rules by men

We always hear the rules from women, so now here are the rules from the men.

These are our rules!

Please note - these are all numbered "1" on purpose!

1. Men are not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. Compromise! You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let
it be.

1. Shopping is not a sport. For your information, no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one - subtle hints do not work and strong hints do not work and obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem, so go and see a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

1. Don't be offended if you ask us if you are fat and we say yes - honesty is the best policy after all.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or you can tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. All men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is a vegetable. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will believe you. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but men
really don't mind that because it's like camping.

Timmy "Could be permanently single" Magic

youth retreat group photo

GroupPhoto
Originally uploaded by tim luke jones.

Here is a good quality photo of the youth retreat group. The mobile phone one I had didn't come out properly!

Timmy "Stood by other Tim" Magic

dalek bread?

Firstly I would like to apologise for the awful pun mentioned above, but I thought of it on the train in reference to the following story and wanted to share it.

Peter Kay, Bolton comedy genius, is to star as a villain in Dr Who, reports the BBC website. It sees him taking a more serious acting role, following his cameo in Coronation Street

Timmy "Peter Kay-9" Magic

four word film review

Over the weekend I was intoduced to a site called the four word film review. The title of the site sums up what it is fairly well - reviews of films in four words.

Included are such gems as
"Marlon Brando, hoarse whisperer" for The Godfather
"Boom in public transportation" for Speed

and

"Child smuggling ring discovered" for Lord of the Rings

Timmy "thinking of four words" Magic

tim's work boots

boots
Originally uploaded by tim luke jones.

To the wag who commented on my barefootedness on the beat, the answer is no. I have a nice new pair of Magnums with fibreglass toecaps in, which I will be more than happy to demonstrate...

Timmy "Toecap-tastic" Magic

tim's pcso uniform

uniform
Originally uploaded by tim luke jones.

Wanted: 1 good woman who can cook, clean and wash all my uniform!

1 coat
1 fleece (inside the coat)
1 high visibility jacket
2 jumpers
3 pairs of trousers
2 belts
9 shirts
2 ties
2 caps
1 scarf
1 pair of gloves
1 pair of waterproof trousers
1 cap protector
1 radio pouch
2 document pouches

Timmy "Needs to find a launderette" Magic

police community supporting

Hey hey!

Sorry for the lack of posts in the last few weeks but I have been doing my training as a Police Community Support Officer with the Metropolitan Police. I am currently 15 days into a 4.5 week training course and am really enjoying the work. I have spent the past few weeks learning different bits of the law, and now have a different view on life in London. I have received my appointment and as of 15th March, will be a PCSO at Paddington Green station, a high security station in the City of Westminster. The station is located on the Edgware Road, in an area that is made up partly of residential estates and partly of shops and businesses. The local area is predominantly Arabic, more specifically Lebanese, which could mean some interesting new cuisine will be experienced!

Timmy "PCSO 7125 DP" Magic

youth retreat

I may have imparted a small untruth to you earlier in the week! I said I was going to update you on what had gone on at Youth Retreat but I didn't. Sorry - but my photos didn't come out properly.

Timmy "Good soundman, bad cameraman" Magic

rink youth retreat 2006

I write this evening having just returned from a weekend of good jokes and spiritual teaching at the Frontier Centre in Rushden.

I will share some of the good japes that were had tomorrow evening.

Timmy "Techie" Magic

visited countries

Thanks to some fairly mindless googling, I came across the UrbanArmy blog by Gordon Cotterill at Poplar, which led me to the blogs of some friends/other people I know - including Nick Hanover's

One of his posts makes reference to his visited countries and invite the reader to find out theirs! Can you tell what is coming?



create your own visited countries map

I have visited 6% of the world's countries - 15 in total

Timmy "Working on the 94%" Magic

high council 2006

So High Council 2006 is over almost before it has begun. Seven days after the official welcome to the High council, a new general has been chosen.

Current UK Territorial Commander Commissioner Shaw Clifton is now General-elect, ending months of speculation. Yet the speculation will start all over again in the coming days - who will be the new UK TC? who will take on the role of Chief of the Staff? what of Commissoners Gaither if he isn't asked to be Chief again?

I will keep you posted as and when I hear and for those who want to see the official news and webcasts click here

Timmy "General Shaw" Magic

the dogs, the job and the game

Happy New Year all! I know it's a little late for the Gregorian New Year - so for
convenience sake I am going to be Chinese for the next few days and thus be early with my "恭喜發財" or "Gung hay fat choy" for Sunday.

I hope this year of the Dog is everything you are hoping for!

This year holds many exciting things in store, not least the start of my training as a Police Community Support Officer with the Metropolitan Police, which starts on the 13th of February! 4 weeks at Hendon College is an exciting but daunting prospect!

I also discovered in recent days a game called "The Game".

For those who know how to play The Game, you have just lost!
For those who don't know, welcome to The Game, as per rule 1

To know The Game is to play the game. You can never stop playing.

Hopefully see you and/or speak to you within the next weeks!

Timmy "It's all about The Game!" Magic