It is Sunday night, so it must be time for my post-army weekly roundup of stuff!
Yesterday I spent the day with Richard and we went out to see a bit of old London Town. We had a jolly nice time, visiting my college and the British Museum, where the Biblical exhibition doesn't open til 3pm, thus a long wait if you want to see it.
We dined at a nice joint in Trocadero, where I managed to head-butt and break the light over our table. Our waitress, Jana, was exceedingly observant and helpful by chipping in "It's dark!" Well done, you really do astound me!
We jollied back home and tried to get tickets for "The Incredibles" at Camden. They had lots left so we went down, only to discover it was sold out! Not very helpful!
Today was Army day, which meant the usual banter and jollility. But there was cause for great hilarity for some and pain for others during the afternoon.
While we were singing a song, Megs took it upon herself to help Jonny by playing the triangle with the cymbal sticks. Unfortunately she isn't very good at either playing or aiming. The few times she hit the triangle weren't too bad but the one time she missed wasn't so good.
Sadly (for some people) the next thing after the triangle was my body, more specifically a sensitive bit. The next few minutes were filled entirely by tears. I was in tears of pain, while the rest of the row were in tears of laughter.
So I will go through this week with a bruised head and a bruised... (ego?)
Mr Tim
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Monday, November 15, 2004
Boris Johnson Sacked - but why?
In recent days Tory front-bencher and editor of Spectator magazine, Boris Johnson was sacked for "lying about his private life".
Two problems seem to be evident here:-
Firstly, the sacking was made amid speculation about BoJo's private life. Surely this should have stayed private. As a visitor to the BBC website eloquently put it, "he doesn't want to tell about it and we don't want to hear about it"
Secondly, he was sacked for lying. Surely this cements his position as a great politician. The sole purpose of a politician is to lie to the general public sufficiently well that they don't get too unruly.
My grandfather once said, when asked who he would be voting for:-
"The person who tells the most plausible lies!"
Two problems seem to be evident here:-
Firstly, the sacking was made amid speculation about BoJo's private life. Surely this should have stayed private. As a visitor to the BBC website eloquently put it, "he doesn't want to tell about it and we don't want to hear about it"
Secondly, he was sacked for lying. Surely this cements his position as a great politician. The sole purpose of a politician is to lie to the general public sufficiently well that they don't get too unruly.
My grandfather once said, when asked who he would be voting for:-
"The person who tells the most plausible lies!"
Killer Toblerones
This evening I was viciously assaulted by a killer Toblerone!
I was merely attempting to break a piece off the bar to eat, when it snapped and crashed into my left thumb!
Here are photos of the thumb and the Toblerone and I would be grateful if anyone could provide any evidence that may help catch the perpetrators of this heinous crime
I was merely attempting to break a piece off the bar to eat, when it snapped and crashed into my left thumb!
Here are photos of the thumb and the Toblerone and I would be grateful if anyone could provide any evidence that may help catch the perpetrators of this heinous crime
A Guy About Town - 7 days later
It pains me to say it, but my GAT project was an unmitigated disaster.
With it being reading week, I didn't do very much, so prepare to perhaps be a bit bored.
On Monday I returned from my little jaunt to Chelmsford. It was of course great to see all my buddies again, and it made me want to go back a bit more (offers of food and a bed will be gratefully received!)
The train was fine but I had to get 4 tubes to get home, as the first train from King's Cross stopped at Golders Green, the next one at Colindale then finally a train that went to Burnt Oak.
Tuesday was the day I had an argument with a man in an electronics shop. My new handheld PC doesn't work properly, and when I tried to take it back the man got angry and said that I couldn't return it because I had no grounds to. Band was the usual fun and frolics, and I did of course the usual "Timpy Magic" (you see the joke there?)
Wednesday was work, which was dull, apart from the man on the tube who literally dived off the train when he nearly missed the stop. If you need a demonstration, ask next time you see me.
Thursday was my lazy day, spent watching "Friends" and stuff. It was also the day on which I did the token amount of reading. It was reading week after all! Songster practice was not overly exciting, apart from a couple of difficult and old songs.
Friday, beginning of a typical Rink weekend, did not compare to the rest of the week. It was the start of a "jolly, jolly" time.
We went to Chili's for a birthday meal for Becca Whitmore but had to wait 1 yonk for them to find a table. The food was pretty good, but it took ages to arrive and was quite expensive. However the banter was good and much fun was had with the little silver stars Lizzie B brought.
Saturday was another lazy day, though I did do a bit of mate spotting on the Lord Mayor's Show and The Festival of Remembrance.
Sunday was meetings and a long march from the Rinky to the Cenotaph and back. I was on the front with my purty white gloves (freshly bleached!) but was berated by the ladies who were marching with me for taking steps that were too long. Allegedly they couldn't keep up, but to be fair, it was marching in steps of about 6 inches. At my pace and step we could have done in it 20 minutes but what can you do...
If I think of anything funny in the next couple of days, I'll let you know!
Magic
With it being reading week, I didn't do very much, so prepare to perhaps be a bit bored.
On Monday I returned from my little jaunt to Chelmsford. It was of course great to see all my buddies again, and it made me want to go back a bit more (offers of food and a bed will be gratefully received!)
The train was fine but I had to get 4 tubes to get home, as the first train from King's Cross stopped at Golders Green, the next one at Colindale then finally a train that went to Burnt Oak.
Tuesday was the day I had an argument with a man in an electronics shop. My new handheld PC doesn't work properly, and when I tried to take it back the man got angry and said that I couldn't return it because I had no grounds to. Band was the usual fun and frolics, and I did of course the usual "Timpy Magic" (you see the joke there?)
Wednesday was work, which was dull, apart from the man on the tube who literally dived off the train when he nearly missed the stop. If you need a demonstration, ask next time you see me.
Thursday was my lazy day, spent watching "Friends" and stuff. It was also the day on which I did the token amount of reading. It was reading week after all! Songster practice was not overly exciting, apart from a couple of difficult and old songs.
Friday, beginning of a typical Rink weekend, did not compare to the rest of the week. It was the start of a "jolly, jolly" time.
We went to Chili's for a birthday meal for Becca Whitmore but had to wait 1 yonk for them to find a table. The food was pretty good, but it took ages to arrive and was quite expensive. However the banter was good and much fun was had with the little silver stars Lizzie B brought.
Saturday was another lazy day, though I did do a bit of mate spotting on the Lord Mayor's Show and The Festival of Remembrance.
Sunday was meetings and a long march from the Rinky to the Cenotaph and back. I was on the front with my purty white gloves (freshly bleached!) but was berated by the ladies who were marching with me for taking steps that were too long. Allegedly they couldn't keep up, but to be fair, it was marching in steps of about 6 inches. At my pace and step we could have done in it 20 minutes but what can you do...
If I think of anything funny in the next couple of days, I'll let you know!
Magic
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Airplanes - or is that Aeroplanes?
Sincerest apologies to those who were offended by my gratuitous use of American English, when I said Princess Anne was in an "airplane incident"
To be fair it was 11.40, and I had been watching US TV!
By the way, who commented on it?
Timo
To be fair it was 11.40, and I had been watching US TV!
By the way, who commented on it?
Timo
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Princess Royal in air near-miss
Near-miss for Princess Anne
Princess Anne has been involved in a terrible airplane incident!
Whilst flying to events in Scotland, her plane was involved in a near-miss with an RAF plane under military control. The two planes came within a shockingly dangerous 3.3 miles of each other.
The plane on which the Princess was travelling has the specifiactions detailed below:
BAE 125 Specifications
Engines:
Two Garrett turbofans
Length:
50ft 8.5in (15.46m)
Wingspan:
47ft (14.33m)
Top Speed:
533 mph (858 km/h)
Accommodation:
Up to seven passengers
The Vauxhall Astra, a regular car has specifications as below:-
Length:
4.51m
Width:
1.75m
Height:
1.5m
Going on length alone, the car is circa 3x smaller than the plane.
That would mean that it would make front page news if I had a near miss in my car, coming within 1 mile of a lamppost.
Somethings really aren't newsworthy are they?
Timbob
Princess Anne has been involved in a terrible airplane incident!
Whilst flying to events in Scotland, her plane was involved in a near-miss with an RAF plane under military control. The two planes came within a shockingly dangerous 3.3 miles of each other.
The plane on which the Princess was travelling has the specifiactions detailed below:
BAE 125 Specifications
Engines:
Two Garrett turbofans
Length:
50ft 8.5in (15.46m)
Wingspan:
47ft (14.33m)
Top Speed:
533 mph (858 km/h)
Accommodation:
Up to seven passengers
The Vauxhall Astra, a regular car has specifications as below:-
Length:
4.51m
Width:
1.75m
Height:
1.5m
Going on length alone, the car is circa 3x smaller than the plane.
That would mean that it would make front page news if I had a near miss in my car, coming within 1 mile of a lamppost.
Somethings really aren't newsworthy are they?
Timbob
Monday, November 08, 2004
A Guy About Town
I have heard from a certain father-to-be that he is not impressed with my lack of bloggage recently, so I have come up with a solution.
I am going to undertake a week-long project on my life in London. It will take a typically "Tim" view on things, and will be published in seven parts, one each day from now until Sunday!
Hope that's OK for you Dave...
Timbo
I am going to undertake a week-long project on my life in London. It will take a typically "Tim" view on things, and will be published in seven parts, one each day from now until Sunday!
Hope that's OK for you Dave...
Timbo
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
skandinavisk vitser
I have some Scandinavian jokes!
A Swedish couple were in their house.
Suddenly, the wife said to her husband "Get me a pair of loafers" so the husband came back with two Danes.
Q: What are a Danes's favorite four years of school?
A: Third Grade
Sven was leaning against the fence watching the morning turn into afternoon, when this Irish guy walks by with a wheelbarrow full of manure. Swen asked him "Vat are you gonna do vit dat?"
The Irishman replied, "I'm going to put it on my strawberries."
Sven smiled and said, "Ve Norvegians put sugar on ours."
A Dane received a pair of water skis for his birthday.
He went crazy looking for a slope on the lake.
Why were wheelbarrows invented?
To teach Danes how to walk on their hind legs.
"Are you a Pole Vaulter?"
"No…I'm a Norwegian…and my name isn't Walter."
Ok! So you understand that we don't like Danes yeah?
Timøþi
A Swedish couple were in their house.
Suddenly, the wife said to her husband "Get me a pair of loafers" so the husband came back with two Danes.
Q: What are a Danes's favorite four years of school?
A: Third Grade
Sven was leaning against the fence watching the morning turn into afternoon, when this Irish guy walks by with a wheelbarrow full of manure. Swen asked him "Vat are you gonna do vit dat?"
The Irishman replied, "I'm going to put it on my strawberries."
Sven smiled and said, "Ve Norvegians put sugar on ours."
A Dane received a pair of water skis for his birthday.
He went crazy looking for a slope on the lake.
Why were wheelbarrows invented?
To teach Danes how to walk on their hind legs.
"Are you a Pole Vaulter?"
"No…I'm a Norwegian…and my name isn't Walter."
Ok! So you understand that we don't like Danes yeah?
Timøþi
I am outraged!
Hey y'all! Sorry for the lack o0f bloggage recently! I have been majorly busy with uni work and stuff!
Anyway, I was just wondering how on Earth the American elections happened the way they did!
Not only did they manage to elect a President they didn't actually vote for but also re-elect the stupid fool!
I have a nice assortment of Bush quotes below! Let me know what you think
"Teach a child to read and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."
"Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me."
"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."
"I love to bring people into the oval office...and say, this is where I office!"
"The illiteracy level of our children are appalling"
"I think war is a dangerous place."
"Our nation must come together to unite."
"They misunderestimated me."
"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."
"We ought to make the pie higher."
"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"
"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"
What were they thinking?!?
Timo
Anyway, I was just wondering how on Earth the American elections happened the way they did!
Not only did they manage to elect a President they didn't actually vote for but also re-elect the stupid fool!
I have a nice assortment of Bush quotes below! Let me know what you think
"Teach a child to read and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."
"Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me."
"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."
"I love to bring people into the oval office...and say, this is where I office!"
"The illiteracy level of our children are appalling"
"I think war is a dangerous place."
"Our nation must come together to unite."
"They misunderestimated me."
"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."
"We ought to make the pie higher."
"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"
"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"
What were they thinking?!?
Timo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
