The Reading Festival... Returns

Note that this is an edited version of the original, which is now known to many

On Saturday, Lou, Jo and I decided to go to the Reading Festival. No, not the one with the cool rock and pop bands, the one with two Jonnys and Nick Samuel!

We set off at about 3pm and had soon got on to the subject of being sick in cars. This topic was regurgitated (excuse the pun!) several times throughout the day.

By the time we had got along one junction of the M25, Lou had had two small incidences with other road users. Tim had also been berated for bringing his two lovely companions into traffic.

As the car confectionery administrator, Jo was quite generous in sharing 6 packets of Haribo with us, as well as the 3 bags of sweets that I had brought along. At the time of writing, Lou claims she didn't need to bring sweets, as she had provided the car.

Having escaped the "total gridlock", we progressed a few junctions of the motorway.

It must be noted that both Lou and Jo are not unattractive, yet they were surprised to find that they were being ogled by various motorists, some young and some old,
Some men and some not. But the pinnacle of this came when two blokes in an ancient BMW took video footage of Lou as she was driving. It is worth noting that Lou was wearing a strapless top, which she assures me makes her look topless when she is driving. This could explain the funny looks and video filming.

We finally arrived on the M4 and found that Lou's fuel gauge light had come on, which caused mild panic, as we had about 4 junctions to do. Upon entering Reading along "Shenfield Road" we found a petrol filling station, where Lou put £16.08 worth of fuel in.

We soon found the school, but sadly we felt the need to search for some fast food. After a few hairy moments at junctions, we found ourselves driving along the High St. So we went round the one way system again and into the car park we were aiming for in the first place.

We parked up and went on our way to Burger King, though we were slightly delayed as Jo couldn't walk up the escalator in her noisy and un-sensible shoes.

When we ordered from Dun Xiao Ping (or whatever she was called) who got our order a bit wrong. Thankfully we got an extra bag of chips, as Jo ate most of mine. (I have heard that food from other people's plates don't contain any Weight Watchers points, but I am dubious!)

Having found two sets of locked toilets, Jo fought her way back down the non-moving escalator, and back to the car park.

When we finally left the car park, the task of navigating back to the school fell to me. Now the girls were mightily ungrateful at me getting them from Chelmsford to Reading, but again I was berated for getting them a bit lost in the one way system.

Upon our arrival, we parked up on a bit of grass, and made our way across the building site/field to the theatre. We got ourselves seated, and the girls went to "freshen up". Twenty minutes later, they came back, and I had about 2 minutes to go and "freshen up" and get back. Apparently there was a queue! (I never understand why women queue for the toilet, rather than just going, peeing and leaving!)

The festival was rather uneventful, though brilliant to be at, especially for the alarmingly camp conducting from the Reverend Nick Samuel.

By about twenty minutes after the festival, Lou gave up her chances of seeing everyone she wanted to, and Jo and I had seen everyone we wanted to see, so we left.

Almost in tears to be leaving, we made our way back to the car.
Jo drove.
This was something of an experience! (I'm joking!)

We bantered to avoid tiredness until South Mimms services, where caffeine took over.

We got some drinks, and sat down at a table, where we were eyeballed by some woman on the next table. It must be noted that this woman was eating a full English fried breakfast, that is to say bacon, eggs, sausage, tomato, toast, beans, mushrooms and fried bread at 11pm! She was freaky, so Lou, in her typically unsubtle way, stared back and said "Oi! What you staring at?"

We also took some nice camera phone photos (which were unavailable at time of going to press!)

We couldn't stay in the services all night, so we "left the old bag to her fry up" motored on to the A12.

Upon arriving at the A12, the tiredness really kicked in, and the Songster CD went on. We proceeded to sing along to our own dear songster brigade, in varying styles, including Jo's excessively high singing, her Essex singing and best of all, her impressions of other not so good singers. I then took the mantle, by proffering my personal favourite, literally monotonous singing. Lou went really high, in a desperate attempt to imitate the whole soprano section, though she didn't sound too good.

Unfortunately by this time we arrived back home, rearing and ready for the coach to Bognor Regis for the Salvation Army's jolly good fun holiday week at Butlin's.

This was undoubtedly the best weekend I have had in a long time, and is on a close par with the band's visit to Lowestoft.

So, roll on the next time myself, Lou and Jo get together for a bit of banter!